Unsolicited advice: Subtle over-protectiveness

I think I may have just figured out the key to my dad's over-protectiveness: unsolicited advice. He's been doing it for years (which is interesting, because he also tries to give it up for Lent every year!), but the most recent occurrence happened just a few minutes ago. He dropped by my room upon coming home from work to say hi, and, seeing my tax refund cheque on my dresser, he expressed surprise that I hadn't cashed it yet. I mentioned that I was waiting on a rent cheque from one of the roomies and that I wanted to cash everything all at once. Makes sense, no?

But then he asked me which month this rent was for, and I said March, totally nonplussed. Then at dinner 20min or so later, he brought up something about how, in his own experience, it's always tricky business lending money to friends, and how I should never let it go that long before collecting the money because I ran the risk of losing it altogether.

Now, as far as advice goes, I suppose that little tidbit - be careful of lending money to friends - holds some value. But the thing is, its delivery was unnecessary because I don't see the late rent as being a problem. I know I will get the money, and I'm not afraid to ask for it. Yes, it is midway through April and this rent was due March 1, but I've chosen to be lenient about the dates because of various circumstances of which my father is unaware.

You see, what he did was think, "Hm, in my experience, if the cheque is THAT late then that's a problem in my books." In my books. From my casual response - "oh, March..." - he should have known that it's not a problem in my books. And if it's not a problem, then I'm not looking for a solution! You see?

If there had been some sort of problem, like if a friend had owed me a sum of money and had been unwilling to pay it back, then that would be a problem and I may have come to my parents for advice. And then my dad's "be careful lending money to friends" lesson would have been both appropriate and valuable.

This reminds me of Tom Bodette's quote,“The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.” My dad, like school, taught the lesson without any guarantee of a test [actual money-lending problem] even happening; I would have been taught the lesson on my own had the test occurred IRL.

Don't get me wrong, my dad has a lot of valuable things to say and wisdom to share, but because of his poor timing he ends up coming across as preachy. I think one of the main things that bothers me about his unsolicited advice is that, often, he is preaching to the choir because I wouldn't make the mistake he's preaching about...which makes me feel like he's not giving me enough credit.

On ANTM and Narrative Bias

I've been watching Cycle 16 of America's Next Top Model (studying? what studying?) and was reminded the other day of narrative perspective and bias (which is something that came up a lot in my Children's Lit course). The main thing to know about this is that the narrator of the story pretty much controls its direction. He/she controls how much information the reader is privy to, and basically manipulates the reader's attention.

Narrative bias applies, in a big way, to ANTM. I noticed last cycle that the girls I was rooting for ended up making it quite far in the competition. I wanted them to win because I could tell they were good people, and good models, and thought they deserved to win. It was clear from their interviews and interactions with the other girls that they were Nice People who deserved to win more than the bitchy girls.

I can feel myself slipping into this same pattern of cheering for the nice girls (this cycle, Jaclyn and Hannah) and wishing the bitchy girl (Alexandria) would be kicked out already. I asked myself why Alexandria was being kept on the show, week after week, when it's so clear that she doesn't get along with the other girls and is annoying and mean and doesn't deserve to win. And then, in episode 16.05 Alexandria mentioned something about how she's suffered "every kind of abuse imaginable." And then it hit me: Oh. She is a multi-dimensional Person who is far more complex than "the Bitchy Girl." The other contestants had a similar realization when they peeked in Alexandria's diary, expecting to discover a cruel diatribe against every girl, and instead found entries wondering why the other girls don't like her.

Now, Alexandria may be bitchy IRL, but I believe ANTM has been portraying her unfairly - as a uni-dimensional bitch. When she probably is not. And I understand why they do it: to make for more entertaining television. (Do I give a fuck about modelling? Please. I watch ANTM for the drama!) I just need to remember to take it all with a grain of salt, because the people behind ANTM are manipulating the footage in order to create drama. Their portrayal of the girls is not necessarily how they are IRL.