The Fine Line between Protective and Overprotective

We live in the age of the helicopter parent. Though my parents gave me a decent amount of independence, they were also somewhat overprotective. It was annoying at the time, but I understand the reasoning behind it: they love me and didn't want anything too horrible to happen to me (such as unruly gangs or other bad seeds).

So fine. My parents, quite understandably, didn't want me to get killed. But in terms of emotional protection, they left me to make my own decisions about the friend I would hang out with, schools I would attend, extracurriculars in which I would participate (with the notable exception of not being allowed to quit piano lessons). Having high school friends whose parents were pressuring them into studying particular things in university (e.g., medicine), I really appreciated the ability to choose my own path. So, even though it was a nuisance to have to be picked up from the subway station instead of taking the bus by myself - and by 10:30, since my 'rents go to bed early - it was preferrable to being told what to do with my life. They took steps to ensure my physical well-being but left my soul's well-being in my hands. Thank goodness.

Apparently, some parents have trouble with this balance. I recently came across an article in the Toronto Star about two groups of parents who are suing the Greater Toronto Hockey League (GTHL) for cutting their sons from the team. In essence, they are blaming the GTHL for ruining their sons' self-esteem and causing them to quit hockey (which was something they had previously loved), etc. etc.

This article has 144 comments, the majority of which agree with me: Get Over It. Believe me, I know how it feels to not make it onto a sports team: it hurts. Okay. Maybe the boys will decide to quit hockey, doubting their abilities in the face of this failure. Fine. But really, time will heal the pain. They may feel bitter for a while, but eventually they will find other fun activities and will forget all about the GTHL.

This is why I think it is a terrible idea for the parents to sue the GTHL for emotional damages. Physical injury is one thing because it is lasting (and a lawsuit could convince the League to introduce some sort of legislation or whatever to rectify the problem), but a bruised ego will heal. From the point of view of someone dependent-on-parents-but-recently-turned-somewhat-independent, I firmly believe that parents should not endeavour to protect their children from every kind of pain. Yes, it's incredibly difficult to watch someone close to you struggle through something when you want to do everything you can to make it go away. But, sometimes you just have to let them work through the hurt, ya know? There will come a time when they'll have to handle such things on their own, and if they're left totally unprepared to deal with it, well, that could be a problem...